even though i have decided my decision. although i have console myself with thousands of consolation. the thing is still stick to me. i don't know why. i want to let it go. but it always appear in my mind. i understand that let go doesn't mean forget. however, when it pokes out in my mind, i will be very sad. i will blame myself. no matter how hard i face it, i just can't be happy.
sometime, i wonder, who are really my companion. "companion". this words is better than "friend". companion is the one who will accompany you in your life. on the other side, WHO IS "FRIEND"???
YA!!! i know! there are friends around me. but what i need is companion. the one who can accompany me in my walking life. i always know and clear about who i am. i don't mind you are leaving. but when you sentence me to a death penalty, can you tell me why??? please give me lame excuse to entertain me. PLEASE DON'T KILL ME WITHOUT A REASON!!!
i am really in a deep sad but i act like happy. i want to cry but i smile. i talk but my heart is shutting up.
until now, i really know that a chat have a strong power. moreover, it is just a nonsense chat. so sorry to say talk it is a nonsense talk but we are just talking empty only. 23rd June, we talk from 9.15pm to 11.00pm. a 1.75hours of non-stop chatting. it is just an empty chat. it is just a normal chat. we don't bring up any bombastic words. but it warms me. i feel every single part of my body. every of my single cells starts to have temperature. it just warms my heart.
after the chat, i say thanks to this particular friend. he say,"dun mention it". at first, i don't really get his meaning. finally, i understand. do you know that a real true and simple friend doesn't need a thanks???
i really appreciate it. i want to maintain this kind of friendship. i am afraid to take a further step as i worry that i will bring trouble to it. i just want to hold this kind of relationship and keep it in my bottom of heart.
TO THE ONE WHO MAY CONCERN
PLEASE!!!
KEEP IN TOUCH...
A companion in life... erm... In fact, u cannot find a companion in life... he or she will come by himself... this kinda thing is fate, destiny... as we go through our life we will understand things more... ^^
ReplyDeleteSad things... dun keep inside... u will get sicked... if something i dun wanna rmb... i will forget it easily.. hahahaha... but i dun lyk myself... something or some person important... i oso tend to forget... :/ unless it keep appearin in front of me...
but... your min is your host...
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